I hate the taste of chalk, but I also know where I stand.

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a valid part of being a human being. We learn things from these mistakes or we run from them. It’s easier to run from the things that we’ve done and pretend they didn’t happen at all. It’s easy to just say “well, they had it coming,” or “it had to be said/done.” It’s easy to hate someone for hurting you. It’s a lot harder to forgive everything. That’s not something that I’ve ever been capable of. I touch the stove from time to time and when it’s hot I claim I’ve learned. Don’t touch the stove again. Life doesn’t work like that. Sure, you can pretend that it does, you can live in this nice land of denial where you’re better off because you’re content with your decisions. That’s not really living, it’s hiding from the truth. I’m very good at that. I’m very good at a lot of things because I’ve built my life a certain way. I wouldn’t say that many of them are healthy ways of being. I can tell you right off I’ve never built it for the swallowing of my pride and admitting that I was wrong, but there’s a first time for everything. I did say that I was done taking the easy way out of everything.

I can’t say that I can forgive a broken heart, because I don’t do well with things that burn that way. That’ll take more time, that might take forever. But, words can be forgiven. Constant fights back and forth that were pointless and should have never happened, can be forgiven. It can all be forgotten. There is no sense blaming or pointing fingers, it’s messy and leads to an unforgivable resentment. There are no places to point fingers anyway, because both parties were at fault. I overreacted. I ran because the stove was hot and I thought I was protecting myself and learning that valuable lesson. I’ll never know if that was a mistake because the only thing I regret is how I handled it, not exactly my actions. I can’t and wouldn’t turn back time because everything happens for a reason. If it hadn’t been meant to happen it wouldn’t have and maybe it’s what I needed to bring me here. I’d like to say I’m sorry. We were both wrong in our own ways and neither of us handled the situation very well. I’ve both said and done things that I cannot take back, I understand that, but I can apologize for the damages done.

You know what? This isn’t the place for this. The place for this is good old-fashioned pen and paper. Some things need more than black and white text.


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