I’m no hero, but I’ll clean up your mess.

It’s funny the way life has a way of turning things around so that you can see  them from the other side. For a long time I was blinded by a lot of things and I let myself be. The people around me saw that. My best friend would never say anything about it, he’s too good of my friend to do so. Even when I outright asked him what he thought, he let me have my fantasy world. My mother saw it though and she made it known at every opportunity. I didn’t listen to her. I didn’t listen to anyone who said anything worth hearing. I didn’t listen to Brandon. I should have. I just ignored everything. Because I was blinded, because I thought I knew all the answers. Because I had allowed one person to become the answers, to come before everything else. I fucked up. I don’t know how many people I explained that to and I don’t know how many of them know just how much I meant it. I see now what it was that everyone wanted me to see. Sure, I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. Sure, I was happy with life at that point. But I was hurting the people around me and acting as though I didn’t so much as give a damn. I fucked up.

Now, from the other side of the fence I’m watching my best friend do the same thing. I don’t know if he realizes it or not and we’re not exactly in a place that I could say something to him if I wanted to. But, I hope that whatever decisions that he makes he’s happy with. That’s what it comes down to. I hope my friends are happy. So, I’ll keep my mouth shut for now. I’ll take care of the people he’s hurting as best I can. What else can I do? Not a damn thing, not a goddamn thing.

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