1447, 9-9-09 Time has come to a stand still. Every moment that passes seems like it’s surreal and belongs somewhere else. I keep expecting to wake up from this very vivid dream and find myself some place in time. Nothing seems real anymore, it seems like everything is happening to someone else. It’s like watching a movie except it’s so boring no one would want to see it. I’ve done a lot of sitting today. I sat with Drake a lot today, we talked about what was wrong with the world. Then I sat alone and then I sat in class. That’s where I am now, class. I don’t know why I even bothered coming to campus today.
1510, 9-9-09 The scene before me makes perfect sense. The sun comes from down behind Old Main and if you look to the sky you can see the clouds darken and yield to the coming storm. Sunshine from the left, normal and right. Storm from the right, chaos and turmoil. Together in the same moment. There’s so out of place. That’s exactly how everything feels right now. Oh, here comes the rain. I miss her. So much. Raindrops. Her kisses on my skin.
1521, 9-9-09 Standing by the window these people come up behind me to look over at the city and the storm. “This is depressing.” She says and I smile without speaking. I’ve been standing here nearly ten minutes now and that never actually crossed my mind that someone might find the rain upsetting. “It was so pretty earlier.” She and her friend continue on down the hallway. No, I think to myself, but it’s beautiful now.
1546, 9-9-09 There it is again. That bright spot that’s out of place in the gloom that’s taken over the city. It makes me smile. People are probably beginning to think I’m insane. Maybe I am.
1653, 9-9-09 The storm has passed and with it something else has too, but I can’t exactly pin down what it was that left. The storm brought me an interesting sense of peace with its random burst of sunshine in the middle of the down pour, but it left me empty again. I think I might be starting to feel better, but I don’t know that I exactly felt bad in the first place. Something is missing. I know what it is. It’s nice to have someone to miss, even when it makes the world amiss.❤